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FixerUpperMarriage.org/me Newsletter A Me 1st Story I dropped the phone on my bed. It was late and something had just snapped inside of me. I am letting go of my phone, but actually I am letting go of something much bigger. And it feels good. It had taken me almost a year to get to this point, but I am here now trying to make sense of how I feel.  I had just said something that at one time I wondered if I would ever be able to say. I didn’t know what would happen next, but it didn’t matter right now. Everything had just changed.  I buried the hurt from everyone, and now it was coming back out. I knew once I said what I was going to say, I would never be able to take it back. So I paused for a moment, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and just let the words come out. It took all the courage I could muster but I finally did it. At that moment I let go of me. I let go of my past. I let go of everything that I was holding on to that made me feel safe. It was like stepping off a cliff not knowing where I would land.  Just a few minutes earlier I had slowly picked up the phone and punched in the number. My heart was racing and my hands were sweating as I listened to the ringing tone on the other end. The conversation wouldn’t really matter this time, only the last phrase. I kept repeating that phrase to myself in my head the whole time. When her voice picked up, I stumbled through the conversation for a while. Then I just said it. It was three little words that I knew would change me forever. I said, “I love you”.  And the response on the other end still echos in my mind 17 years later, “I Love you too.”  I gave in to love, and love gave in to me.