"Want Him to Fix My Ride" (to the tune of Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive") My car broke down; it won’t even turn on Told the mechanic would know what to do He’s been doing it for thirty some odd years So I went to Bob, who’s much cheaper   He’s a florist Got roses at half price I want him to fix my ride Want him to fix my ride   Saw it on Facebook; it has to be true That the mechanic turns cars into big brown shoes I can’t take the risk; shoes don’t have engines, wheels, or tires Need someone who knows petals; I know just the guy   He’s a florist Got roses at half price I want him to fix my ride Want him to fix my ride   Flower petals Yeah   Yeah, he’s a florist Got roses at half price I want him to fix my ride   He’s got no experience; thinks axles are hatchets But he’s better than elitist mechanics He tells me what I want to hear, right or wrong Put the car in a vase; water it; watch it grow   Yeah, he’s a florist Got roses at half price I want him to fix my ride Yeah, he’s a florist Who just rides a 1-speed bike And I want him to fix my ride I know fate is on my side I know he will fix my ride He’ll fix my ride He’ll fix my ride He’ll fix my ride He’ll fix my ride   Books https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO   Blog https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/   Twitter https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki