Comedy
For those of you using iTunes, or any other podcast software you can subscribe to the podcast http://feeds.feedburner.com/FullMetalChickenEggs.Thanks and Enjoy!FMCFull Metal Chicken EggsFriday, March 7, 2008How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hey! Who wants to rides bikes!Source: Laffaday 03/04/08“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'" -Steven WrightBizarre Warning Labels"This product not intended for use as a dental drill."-Found on an electric rotary tool."Caution: Do not spray in eyes."-Found on a can of underarm deodorant."Do not drive with sunshield in place."-Found on a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard."Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."-Found on a package of airline peanuts.“Not intended for highway use."-Found on a 13-inch wheel for a wheelbarrow.“Kills all kinds of insects. Warning: This spray is harmful to bees."-Found on a can of insecticide."WARNING: Contents flammable."-Found on a container of lighter fluid."Do not use orally."-Found on a toilet bowl cleaning brush."Please keep out of children."-Found on a butcher knife."Warning: Do not use on eyes."-Found in the manual for a heated seat cushion.‘Psycho Path' voted best U.S. street nameJudges for an online contest to determine the most unusual U.S. street name have settled on Psycho Path (do you get the feeling that, that sign gets stolen a lot), followed by Divorce Court. TheCarConnection.com's contest that ended earlier this month had more than 2,500 entries of verifiable street names.Psycho Path is a small private lane in Traverse City, MI, while Divorce Court is in Heather Highlands, PA. The third prize went to Farfrompoopen Rd., which the site editors said is the only way to get to Constipation Ridge in Story, AK. Several intersection combinations also got honourable mentions, including Nixon/Bluett, in Ann Arbor, MI, and the corner of Clinton and Fidelity, in Houston. There is also an intersection of Stroke and Acoma, in a retirement section of Lake Havasu, WI.Source: Bizarre NewsFMC Answers Philosophy QuestionsQ: "What would happen if an unstoppable force met an immovable object"A: "I'm beating someone will want their money back"Q: "What can first the chicken or the Egg"A: "The egg. I've heard that dinosaurs layed them but never heard of a prehistoric chicken."-FMCA guy in my office said this the other day:When picking a name for a son basically you want to pick one that isn’t easy to make fun of but with a daughter you’ve got a different problem. What you want to do is come up with a name, and then say out loud GENTLEMEN PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE (insert name here) and if it sounds good you might want to come up with something else.-FMCQuestion: Why is it then when someone is born under difficult or rare circumstances it is always a miracle but if some dies under the same criteria it's not given the same reverence. Just because things are bad doesn't make them any less miraculous. Like a woman in the middle of an earthquake gives birth while trapped under a fallen building with no help or medical attention is a miracle. But a rouge barcalounger that was sent into the upper atmosphere by a tornado two months ago, and has since managed to circumnavigate the globe twice, following the long lost migration route of the extinct saber tooth duck, that crushes a man who purchased the same one and just though “There’s no way I’m going to be able to find one cheaper” that is not a miracle?-FMCI’ve always wanted to place an ad in the Female seeking Male section of newspaper and see if anyone responds. I think that it would look something like this: 450lb chain smoking SWF willing to settle for less. Must be registered voter and have 10 teeth or more. Asians preferred.-FMCFor more of FMCE and to view past issues or to listen to old podcasts please visit http://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/ for the podcast just click the title of the issue.