Comedy
Full Metal Chicken Eggs Friday, June 13th, 2008Now Available! FMCE in PODCAST - All the funny none of the reading!Click here: http://www.archive.org/download/Fmce13/Fmce13.mp3Warning: Content is not “work friendly” so headphones are recommended.For those of you using iTunes, or any other podcast software you can subscribe to the podcast: http://feeds.feedburner.com/FullMetalChickenEggs.Did you ever notice how busy you can be when your boss has nothing for you to do?Thanks and Enjoy!FMC"I bought a dictionary and the first thing I looked up was the word 'dictionary'. It said, 'You're an asshole.'"-Demetri MartinJust RememberWhen you have a 'I Hate My Job' day, [even if retired you have those sometimes] try this: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: 'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.' Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.' HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!Source: bounce-jokes2u.comAnti-climax – that’s what my uncle was good at!-George CarlinAfter what I wrote last week about weddings, wedding plans and wedding planners, I decided to look up those topics on wiki to see what they said. Wedding, according to Wikipedia is described as FUCK STEVE!!!Also, you can go from thong underwear to Bill Clinton in two clicks on Wikipedia.I think there should be at least one game where every time a team increases the score the person that did so can punch any one of the opposing team members once. I know that would make curling more fun.For more of FMCE and to view past issues or to listen to old podcasts please visithttp://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/For the podcast just click the title of the issue.