Comedy
Sorry for the time between the full metal chicken eggs but this isn't totally my fault. The biggest reason why I haven't put anything out is that I could find much out there to put in. Seriously this took me three weeks of poking around to find this and write my musings as well. So without any more input from me away we go.Enjoy FMC Q. How many Freudian analysts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two, one to screw in the light bulb and one to hold my penis, I mean the ladder.SOUR LaffadayIn the nursing home one evening, the old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting. For $5, I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair." The old lady looked surprised, but didn't say a word. The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life." The old lady still said nothing, but after a couple minutes, she started digging down in her purse. She pulled out a wrinkled $20 bill and held it up. "So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," said the old man. "Get serious," she replied. "Four Times in the rocking chair."SOUR LaffadayOne nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about otherpeople."---George Carlin Egotist: A person more interested in himself than in me.---Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911Performance Reviews This quote is reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluation in a large US Corporation. "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity." SOUR http://www.funnylists.net/jokes.php?action=read&id=932T-Shirt Idea for DrunksSo if Boi Fuel is made from corn and distilledthen...I'm eco freindly – FMC With all the soothing elegance and calmness of a prison riot,made by monkeis, with lots of poo. - FMCto which she responded with words that only could be said on HBO or possiblely Show Time but only after 10 o'clock. - FMCAfter my girlfriend tells me that something I’m thinking of doing is stupid, points out why it won’t work or the flaw in it, I usually wonder why women think that being better then men is such an out of reach goal. But I’m sure this is not a new thought to any women that has lived with a man and witnessed the act of a man throwing his underwear up with his toes and trying to catch it on his head. – FMCLet me make it clear to all of you right now. If I'm ever in a comma the first thing that I want to know when I wake up is; Is Keith Richards still alive? - FMC