ERP 282: How To Use The 6th Love Language In Your Relationship - Part 2

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Contrary to the other five, the love language of personal space isn’t expressed in an active manner, but rather it's being intentional, supportive, and respectful with one another. It gives someone permission to spend time reflecting, contemplating, and doing other inner processes. While it’s romantic to have connection and engagement in a relationship, it’s also true that couples who are deeply committed in their relationship need space and time apart. However, putting this idea into practice brings in fear and insecurity sometimes. This preconceived notion is naturally rooted in our beliefs, values, and traditions. Today’s episode is the continuation of How to Use the 6th Love Language in Your Relationship, discussing what hinders a couple’s ability to give and/or receive space and solitude, what expectations to consider in order to devise a compromise acceptable to both sides, how to assess our need for space, and finally, how to practice the 6th love language in your relationship in conscious and proactive ways. Check out the transcript to this episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode: 07:40 The gift of personal space and solitude is presumed by many as the 6th love language. This act of love and care conforms to introverts, highly sensitive, and artistic people. 09:48 Practicing this love language helps empaths achieve clarity on things they’ve been contemplating about. This is supported by a research study on liminal space where some of the best inventions, equations, and ideas are said to be coming from.   13:55 Modern living as well as changes in our relationship norms and stereotypical roles prevent us from getting a true sense of space. This situation applies to those who are living in close quarters, people sheltered in place during the time of the pandemic, and individuals who are occupied with day-to-day engagements. It's often hard for them to differentiate time for self-care, romance, work, and domestic responsibility.  17:01 Getting that personal space you ever wanted starts with negotiating matters with your partner. You can also be explicit about wanting some time alone by reading each other’s cues. 18:26 Inquiring your partner’s expectations is part of your negotiations. One method is to take into account your family background, what you’re used to, and how our sense of culture was negotiating time and space. This is apparent in how couples handle time with extended families. 20:06 Reflecting on the following areas can also help inform your expectations in partnership: Do you depend on your partner to fulfill many of your needs? How are you with self-care? Are you honest about your needs? Do you take comfort in being alone? 24:22 Other things to consider when discussing your expectations are the concern of insecurities or fears getting evoked when no attention is given and the preferred level of communication. Keep in mind that the time we spend engaging and communicating with our partner doesn’t really equate to our level of commitment. 28:28 A guide to knowing our need for space 32:10 The gift of space and distance are shown in various forms, for example: being supportive of your partner’s endeavor, allowing your partner to enjoy their moments with friends, encouraging them to pursue their commitments, and being respectful with their hobbies  38:20 How to honor the 6th love language in your relationship Mentioned Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything by Victor J Strecher (*Amazon Link) A Guide to Speaking the 6th Love Language article by Pedram Shojai ERP 281: How To Use The 6th Love Language In Your Relationship – Part 1 ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship ERP 238: How To Find Your Emotional Balance In Relationship Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.