Comedy
Hello! Yes, this is an episode of The Modern Moron… and like an aging Snow Leopard, increasingly rare to find. Does that increase the value of a Modern Moron episode… I’m gonna say no, we’re not like a snow leopard or a bitcoin. In this rambling episode, the senator is not in a good place… the news has him down. But when does the news, by and large, ever have you up? It always leads with the latest tragedy and ends with something on the lighter side so you don’t jump out a window after the broadcast. But I think generally what has the Senator down is hypocrisy. It’s latest example is Grandpa Joe’s infrastructure plan of over 2 Trillion Dollars. So the Senator thinks it’s all hypocrisy, and he’s right to a degree. However, what’s infrastructure to the ding dong Dems may not be to the rude righteous Republicans. For example, and this is for the Senator in particular because I just looked this up… a good portion of Trumps infrastructure package included the category of National Security, which for Trump is the great homage to his ego, the border wall of Mexico. Also, power and energy independence to one party is VASTLY different to the other party. Trump still wanted to mine coal. Need I say more? No I don’t. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning this… Spending government money on infrastructure, however you define it, doesn’t just by roads, bridges, public transportation, renewable energy and so on… this huge amount of money doesn’t just buy those things, it also buys votes. It takes a lot of people to build infrastructure and every single one of those people have a vote in 2024… unless you live in Georgia then you may or may not get recognized to vote… or so I’m told. So a good portion of this episode addresses the Stimulus package, but some other politicians get honorable mention as well. The Senator mentions Governor Mario Cuomo, sometimes referring to him as ‘Fredo from the Godfather. Cuomo has been under investigation for sexual misconduct. I wonder how much sexual misconduct investigations there would be if government was run by women? Something else would HAVE to take its place. I wonder what it would be? I digress… There is also a trio of Republican idiots who desperately want to take up the Trump flag and are trying their best to show that bad, outrageous indignant behavior can win votes. The three stooges I refer to are Florida Governor Ron Desantis, the idiot from Texas, Senator Ted Cruz and finally Florida Representative Matt Gaetz.. The Senator is bothered by this idiot Matt Gaetz in particular, and he should be, but thankfully… with the absence of our former idiot in Chief I have found it MUCH EASIER to ignore politics with the new idiot. So I have to start from square one with this used car salesman-ey looking Gaetz. He looks like he could be one of Trump’s sons. Am I judging a book by it’s cover? You bet… isn’t that what book covers are made for? To make them look interesting. Well this guy definitely looks interesting … for an episode of to catch a predator. This guy is actually representing the state of Florida in Washington DC. He should be sitting right next to that spear-nosed idiot Ted Cruz. Both of those guys should seriously have their own versions of The Jerry Springer Show… by the way Jerry Springer was the 56th Mayor of Cincinati, Ohio… so you see? Politics is the perfect training ground to host Tabloid lowest common denominator talk shows. The senator is just down on all the politicians in the news now and I bring up Stacy Abrams who was the Democratic nominee in the 2018 Georgia gubernatorial election, becoming the first African-American female major-party gubernatorial nominee in the United States. She did not win, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing more of Stacey Abrams in the next elections. I really like Stacey Abrams right now and I make a sexist comment… shocking… regarding the electability of Stacey versus our current vice president because of looks. I truly do hat e to say it but I think it’ s a factor. For the record, I would take one Stacey Abrams over ten Kamala Harris’. We join the Senator who requested this recording session, and is not using the microphone I bought for him, nor is he using headphones… which are pretty essential for any podcast to have a decent sound. What’s the name of this show again?... We’re Concerned Over Cuomo, Bummed Over Biden and Harangued about Hypocrisy on The Modern Moron. Thanks for listening… CLOSE - the only thing better than a couple of morons talking politics is two morons talking about a religion of which they know nothing. Ganesh doesn't ride an elephant as the senator said. Ganesh, is the elephant-headed Hindu god who rides a mouse, is one of the faith's most important deities and is one of the primary Hindu deities. He is the lord of success and the destroyer of evils and obstacles, worshiped as the god of education, wisdom, and wealth. Isn’t that nice? I’d like to end on a lighter note, just like those depressing newscasts and this is right in our demographic: Who will be the next host of Jeopardy? This is turning into what I imagine is a great ratings grabber in and of itself. The producers claim there will be a permanent host for Jeopardy next season, which starts taping at the end of July. So far candidates have been auditioning for a couple of weeks at a time and the last host I saw was Green Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rogers. He is all in on this and had prepared for it like he prepares for games by watching hours and hours of tape of Alex Trebek including watching episodes with the sound off and hosting in place of Trebek. Other hosts so far have included Katie Couric, Doctor Oz, former Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings. Slated to host-slash-audition in the coming weeks are: Savannah Guthrie from NBC’s Today Show, Mayim Bialik from The Big Bang Theory, 60 Minutes correspondents Bill Whitaker and Dr. Sanjay Gupta but not together… also, Anderson Cooper and even Fox Sports announcer Joe Buck, no thank you. One tweet regarding Joe Buck as host summed it up best: “Can we not make Joe Buck the next permanent host of Jeopardy, he can barely make football interesting, let alone a gameshow.” There is even a grass roots petition being drummed up for Levar Burton. I’d take Levar Burton over Joe Buck any day. So there’s something trivial for you to occupy your mind for a half a minute, although if you’ve just listened to this podcast, you’ve probably reached your mindlessness quotient for the entire week. Either way, have a great week, thank you for listening and we’ll see you next time… Ganesha, the Hindu God of Success