Comedy
Welcome to a very full episode of the modern moron, a bit longer than usual. We cover a lot of ground so I’m mostly going to just give you some bullet points… mostly, so you can either be prepared, be in on the joke, or decide to skip this episode entirely. Sort of a spoiler alert without too much spoilage. Item #1 - The Senator peed his pants… again. If you’re a guy and you’re listening, you’re probably right in this demographic, you’ve done it too and it’s just a sign to us all to stop wearing khakis. But this very quickly segues in into... Item #2 - A sincere apology… from the senator. Hmm, how do I set this up. We were both in a high school alumni golf tournament a few weeks ago. He and his high school buddies were in the foursome behind my foursome. Through most of the round, say about ¾, the Senator was telling another guy in his foursome to yell certain things during my backswing. Things that might “get to me” and you all know what a delicate flower I am. Well, It’s one thing to do that from 2 or 3 hundred yards away, and another to do it from the same tee which is what he did himself toward the end. He yelled from 15 yards away the name of a girl I was in love with in high school that ended in a very gasoline soaked fiery crash. Should I have gotten over that by now? Yes. Is it still a complete dick move by the Senator? Yes to that as well. He came sauntering over right after saying it, and after I shanked the drive, as if I would have no problem with him yelling at me during my backswing, and I tee’d off on him, pun intended. He had been trying to buzz kill my round of golf so I buzz killed everyone’s round by yelling an f-bomb ladended tirade in front of eight people and ruined their round, at least for that moment. A couple of complete morons. So that is what he apologizes for. It was sincere and very out of character for the Senator. Good for you Senator. Item #3 - Afghanistan. We hit this topic a couple fo times actually and this section is about the refugees - Afghanistan or Mexico or Central America, what’s the difference? Why do Afghani’s get sympathy, deservedly so, but our closer neighbors to the south get no love? Or are they just the flavor of the week and it’s in vogue to give them refuge. And how are we going to be viewing them in 5 or 10 years when they are still learning finding their place in our society? Item #4 - We are reminded that now California Senator Alex Padilla owes over $35M to California Tax payers from money he funneled to a firm that happened to be advising then presidential candidate Joe Biden. We originally discussed this in February of this year on Episode 89. Item #5 - The Senator refers to a certain Vice President as ‘The hooker from San Francisco’? Item #6 - Afghanistan again… This time it’s US Marine Corps Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller who was relieved of duty on August 27th. This happened after posting a video the same day the 13 soldiers were killed at the Airport in Kabul. In the video he calls out the senior leadership for their lack of accountability in botching the withdrawal from Afghanistan. I don’t need to tell you that as a soldier, you do not post videos proclaiming any political criticism. Period. You’re a soldier and you take orders. But Lt. Scheller did and he was relieved of duty. Most of the coverage of this was from the right because it shines a light on the mismanagement of Biden’s Whitehouse and because of that, I went looking for more left leaning publications which to no surprise were not as easy to find. CNN had a a short article in which:Marine Corps spokesperson Maj. Jim Stenger said in a statement that Scheller had been relieved of command: "due to a loss of trust and confidence in his ability to command. This is obviously an emotional time for a lot of Marines, and we encourage anyone struggling right now to seek counseling or talk to a fellow Marine. There is a forum in which Marine leaders can address their disagreements with the chain of command, but it's not social media," Scheller wrote in a Facebook post Friday after being relieved that "my chain of command is doing exactly what I would do... if I were in their shoes." "I will not be making any statements other than what's on my social platforms until I exit the Marine Corps. America has many issues... but it's my home," he wrote. The other coverage I have is a Time magazine op-ed from a military veteran who writes: Scheller held battalion command. The Marine Corps is very selective about which officers it grooms to become battalion commanders; the fact that Scheller held that job means he was—before this past week—well-regarded, a Marine with a future in the Corps. Furthermore, Scheller is seventeen years into a twenty-year career. At twenty years, he would have been eligible for retirement at half his base pay with other benefits, like healthcare for life. It took him exactly four minutes and forty-five seconds to throw that all away. Why did he do this? Until the past two weeks, Afghanistan was not a place, or an issue, most American cared about. In 2018, 42 percent of the country couldn’t even say whether or not we were still at war there. Over the past two decades, the war in Afghanistan has been waged by an all-volunteer military and funded through deficit spending. Unlike other wars, there has been no draft and no war tax. It’s often been said that while America’s military has spent the past twenty years at war, America itself has been at the mall. This has led to a massive civilian-military divide. This botched withdrawal, in which many active duty as well as retired members of our military are receiving hundreds of phone calls and texts daily from their Afghan allies and their families who are now left to fend for themselves against the Taliban, has only deepened this sense of alienation among many who’ve served. One only need to look back through history—from Caesar’s Rome to Napoleon’s France—to see clearly that when a republic couples a large standing military with dysfunctional domestic politics, democracy doesn’t last long. I hope you will check out the links at the bottom of this description, you can also find them at themodernmoron.com under episode 101(?) Moving right along... Item #7 - Louis Farrakan’s bow tie - What can I say? The Senator sent me a link to a speech he gave recently that is NOT at the bottom of this episode. You’re gonna have to find that yourself or ask the Senator. Item #8 - Then we start talking about the recall of California Governor, Gavin Newsome. We begin talking about the what if’s of this total waste of tax payer dollars when I stop… and listen and I hear this… (sfx). I let it go the first time, but when I hear it again I’m pretty sure it’s the Senator clipping his fingernails during our conversation. I don’t know which is worse: hearing him clip his nails as opposed to being engaged in the conversation or the level of disgust I find at him doing it. This show is basically a phone call, but it really bothers me, to no one’s surprise, when I hear it. Which he then tells us he had a masseuse come out to his house to give his family massages. Do you do this? Should I be making a budgetary adjustment to allow for a monthly massage? That is so not on my radar of things to work into the budget. Maybe it should be. Maybe I wouldn’t be such a dick if I got a massage once a month. I think I’d need more than one a month. So, yeah, that’s a lot even for a couple of Morons. Thank you for listening... CLOSE - Did we just sound like a conservative talk show here? Or is it just because we have a democrat in the whitehouse screwing things up instead of a republican in there screwing it all up? Regarding The Senator seeing Farrakhan on Phil Donahue 20 years ago. Phil Donahue did his milestone talk show from 1970 to 1996… I didn’t think he did it that long. Regarding Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller, I don’t think we’ve heard the last from him. He wrote on September 2nd: “Going forward, I must remain committed to forcing accountability across our senior leaders. I do not trust that reviews done by panels at the political/military level will bring the change we seek. And I do not trust that it will change unless a strong enough force is applied to the system. Major changes are needed. The system needs to be broken and rebuilt. We need fresh blood and perspective across the entire system. (he goes on) It’s time for a new generation to assume American power. We are ready, and we reject the current system. This entire experience has illustrated to me just how hungry Americans are for honesty, accountability, and reform across the government. This was expressed to me from ALL political parties. We the people want change. We the people WILL take it. We the people are ALL Americans. Follow me, and we will bring the whole fucking system down… in a constitutional manner with one loud voice.” As a person who loves to curse and does so way too much, that f-bomb at the end did not help his message. And the, “we the people WILL take it.” comment feels a little insurrectionist to this moron. He could be running for political office in the future and I’ll be curious to see which party he affiliates himself with. That’s it for this moron, next episode will not be so heavy I promise you, in fact I think we’re going to talk a little Ted Lasso… thank you for listening, forward this to someone who you think might like it and we’ll see you next time... Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller Speaks To the American Leadership.… - YouTube ( Channel: The Thinking Conservative) US Marine officer relieved of command after criticizing military leaders about Afghanistan withdrawal - CNN The Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal Exposes a Dangerous Fault Line in Our Democracy - Time - BY ELLIOT ACKERMAN - Ackerman is the author of the novel “Red Dress in Black and White” and the memoir Places and Names: On War, Revolution, and Returning, as well as three other novels. He served five tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, received the Silver Star, the Bronze Star for Valor, and the Purple Heart.