Business
Steps of Change “Someday soon we'll stop to ponder what on earth's this spell we're under? We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are.” - Styx, The Grand Illusion I hope you’ve already taken some steps forward to identify your purpose and connect your resources to what matters most, but in case you need a bit more encouragement, I want to offer some perspectives that may help. As I’ve thought about my own struggles and the struggles of friends and clients, I’ve noticed seven steps we can take. Honesty For a traveler who’s lost, the first step is to find out where he is. As long as he refuses to admit he’s lost, he’ll keep going in the wrong direction. For years, I honestly thought that devoting my life to success in my career was the right thing to do. I didn’t wake up each morning and think, Today, I’m going to ruin myself and my family by pursuing the wrong purpose. But that’s exactly what I did. In the last few years, I’ve learned to value honesty as one of the highest virtues. It’s hard for most of us to be really truthful with ourselves or with someone else (especially our spouse), but it’s the necessary first step in finding purpose and reclaiming a life that’s out of control. As I’ve talked to people about the process of change, some of them have commented that they are afraid of losing control. But in most cases, their perception of the threat is an illusion. Many of them think they actually have control of their lives, but they are spiraling out of control, hurting the ones they love and robbing them of the happiness and fulfillment they long for. In reality, we are only in control when we have a purpose, a plan, and a strategy to accomplish what matters most to us. Some people think a budget is too constricting, but a friend of mine told me that his budget gives him incredible peace and freedom because he doesn’t have to worry about money all day, every day. A young couple, Brian and Alicia, told me that when they were in pre-marriage counseling, the counselor asked them to tell each other the thing they most feared. They were terrified to be so painfully honest with each other, but they swallowed hard, looked at each other, and spoke the truth about secret fears that had haunted them. Brian told me, “I really didn’t want to tell Alicia those things, but as soon as a I did, I realized that now she knew the worst about me, so I didn’t have to be afraid any more. She knew, and she still loved me. Being honest with each other has given us incredible freedom to enjoy each other.” Honesty can do the same thing for each of us, if we speak the truth about money: our hopes, our fears, our secrets, and our new commitments. Receiving the Light "No one lights a lamp and then hides it or puts it under a basket. Instead, it is put on a lampstand to give light to all who enter the room. Your eye is a lamp for your body. A pure eye lets sunshine into your soul. But an evil eye shuts out the light and plunges you into darkness. Make sure that the light you think you have is not really darkness. If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight is shining on you."