The "Leading in a Mosaic World" podcast, hosted by Susan Popoola, explores the realities of modern life through conversations with diverse voices and experiences. This episode forms part of a special series exploring the question: “What does it mean to be a man in today’s world?” through thoughtful conversations with men from different backgrounds, professions, and cultures. The series contributes to the wider mission of creating Gender Harmony in a Mosaic World, a world in which men are able to fully be themselves, live fulfilled lives, and add value to others.

Today’s guest is Andrew Pain, a mental health and resilience keynote speaker, author, coach, and podcaster with 25 years’ experience in HR. He is also the host of Men on Show, a podcast exploring men’s mental health and modern masculinity. Andrew’s work is shaped by both his professional experience and lived experience as a survivor of domestic abuse. He is the author of Honestly Man: Why Masculinity Feels Confusing, Shame Doesn’t Help and What to Do About It, and is also a TED speaker and award-winning campaigner for Tim and Billy’s.

In this episode, Andrew reflects on growing up in Birmingham in the 1980s and 1990s, his family background, and the ways childhood has changed over time. He and Susan explore whether boys may need different forms of upbringing and development, as well as the decline of youth services, community spaces, working men’s clubs, and other places where boys and men could build relationships. They discuss the impact of screens, gaming, the cost of living, and COVID lockdowns on young people’s social lives and their connection to the world beyond the home.

The conversation also explores testosterone and men’s wellbeing, including the possible implications of declining testosterone levels, physical and mental health, and the importance of healthy male communities. Andrew discusses the empathy gap, male victimisation, and his own experience of domestic abuse, including the role of shame, people pleasing, and the “knight in shining armour” mindset in keeping him in an unhealthy relationship. He and Susan consider the importance of boundaries, self-protection, and knowing when to walk away, before reflecting on the positive changes in how masculinity and men’s wellbeing are understood today.

If you’d like to explore the conversation around declining testosterone levels further, you can read The Guardian, Eden Clinic, and Medichecks for further perspectives on the research and issues discussed in this episode.

You can connect with Andrew Pain on Linkedin and learn more about his work, including Honestly Man and Men on Show.

You can also connect with the host, Susan Popoola, the CEO of Mosaic Fusions, a specialist in human value optimisation, via LinkedIn. Learn more about her work on her Mosaic Fusions website. And publications on Mosaic Gold Ltd. 

This series of the podcast is produced by Rafiat Akinwande.

Keywords: MosaicWorld, MenInTodaysWorld, GenderHarmony, Men, MaleActualisation, Success, Fulfilment, Boys, Adolescent, Manosphere, Masculinity, PositiveMasculinity, MensWellBeing, YoungMen, HumanValue, SusanPopoola, AndrewPayne, MensMentalHealth, MentalHealth, Resilience, HonestlyMan, MenOnShow, MaleVictims, DomesticAbuse, MaleWellbeing, Testosterone, MensCommunities, Boundaries, PeoplePleasing, Masculinity, MaleConnection, OfflineCommunity 

Chapters

01:12 Introduction to Andrew Pain and His Work

04:03 Childhood Experiences and Family Dynamics

06:36 Gender Differences in Upbringing and Education

09:20 The Impact of Austerity on Youth Activities

12:20 The Role of COVID-19 in Shaping Behavior

15:02 Testosterone and Its Effects on Men's Health

20:38 Community and Connection: The Need for Men's Spaces

26:15 The Broader Implications of Men's Mental Health

30:34 The Impact of Changing Job Landscapes on Men

31:35 Understanding the Empathy Gap

34:56 Rethinking Gender Roles and Expectations

36:28 Men's Experiences with Abuse and Assault

41:03 Navigating Domestic Abuse Awareness

45:41 The Importance of Boundaries in Relationships

52:26 The Evolving Landscape of Masculinity

55:31 Practical Steps for Supporting Men and Boys