Comedy
Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Mara * https://twitter.com/McaelinL * April * https://twitter.com/aprilsaur/ Topics: * Frog and Toad core * What would you do with a bonus room in your house? * My reptile brain is a cat-loving ninja * If you could submit one thing (a song, a building, a food, an activity, an abstract concept) to the interstellar community of sapient intelligences as your part of The Case For Why The Human Race Is Good And Cool, what would it be? * How earnest lessons you try to teach your children backfire * Murder She Wrote is back on prime * Asafoetida powder Microtopics: * The Expanse: bigger than before. * A developer's guide to cognitive behavioral therapy. * The various circumstances under which the Frog Fractions DLC hat can be a witch hat. * Cottagecore vs. Frog and Toad core. * Cottagecore merged with an old man. * Embracing Frog and Toad for pride month. * Finding the bodice rippers with people with dark curly hair on the cover because you can imagine those are light-skinned black people. * The relative density of the east coast. * Getting out of California before it's too late. * A complete dearth of natural disasters. * Writing an offer letter for a home you want to buy and mentioning your adorable child who just needs a home several times. * Moving into a space that is twice as big and not knowing what to do with all the space. * An Austenian fantasy you have been cherishing in your bosom. * A perfect cosy library with chairs that trap people. * Installing a ladder on casters so you can ride it around the room every morning in your Belle outfit. * Coming up with excuses to install the ladder on casters even though you can just reach up and grab every book in your library. * One of those booths with a fan at the bottom that you fill by ripping a single page out of every book in your library. * How much extra you can charge for an Airbnb hidden behind a secret bookshelf. * Going into the Library of Congress to check out Bullfrog's Official Guide to Dungeon Keeper. * A room full of music production equipment and no internet connection. * Asking your child to focus at dinner when all the adults at the table have their phones out. * Saving a cat by applying torque to a falling chair. * Doing a thing before you realize you've done it and thinking "wow it's a good thing I agree with those actions." * Deliberately relying on your unconscious mind to do important work. * Whether Jim and his wife need to get checked for ADHD. * A teen who can write a hell of a term paper. * The interstellar community of sapient intelligences. * The case for why the human race is good and cool. * Winnie the Pooh. * Reclaiming the poop. * Taco Bell's cannon firing nacho cheese chalupas at the enemy spaceships. * Trying to convey "hygge" without being willing to try to pronounce it. * Learning about alien cultures by watching Star Trek. * A five year old explaining to you how T-Mobile are leaders in 5G technology. * A perfectly sensible reaction to the story of Noah's Ark. * Learning what fighting is and deciding to fight your mom. * A book about a child who needs to be reprimanded all the time. * Shouting "no" and throwing the phone on the floor whenever an ad plays. * Watching Murder She Wrote every night before bed. * Jessica Fletcher the serial killer and her nephew Grady, also a serial killer. * How good Jessica Fletcher would be at breaking up a loud graduation party. * Predicting when the party next door is going to end by the decade the music is from. * How to recognize a trap remix of the Murder She Wrote theme from just the bass. * Tricking your family into playing the Murder She Wrote board game. * Not needing a wedding ring because your husband got you the Murder She Wrote DVD boxed set. * Discovering what DVDs are and deciding to put them in the shower. * Covering the shower drain with the Wii Sports disc because they're the exact same size. * A bone-dry shower. * Always shirt-cocking it. * Baby poop and onions but also kind of floral but also you hate onions. * Resorch. * Dried latex from the celery family. * Boiling your neti pot water to kill the brain-eating bacteria that might pass through the blood brain barrier.