Comedy
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(https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Jenni * jenni@jennipolodna.com * Kole * https://duckfeed.tv/ * https://twitter.com/koleross Topics: * Whether or not you should stop animals who are thieves. * We're gonna reach a point where Americans know about Eurovision pretty soon, so prepare for that * "CRL couldn't afford the movie license for their video game adaptation of Blade Runner, so they just licensed the soundtrack. * http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/blade-runner-1985/ * I Did It by Dave Matthews Band * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRXZkdEj7YI * Unedited (syncable) commentary: https://youtu.be/gN_7KtRoZWU * Showing your kid the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon & him immediately adopting Sonic's attitudey idle animation * Fixing every plot hole in media by writing a "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"-like work where minor characters directly address them. * The "I won't eat the cheese" joke * Adventure 500: https://bluerenga.blog/tag/adventure-500/?order=ASC Microtopics: * An entire crowd of Jennis all expressing their preferences at once. * Creative choices that make editing this show take even longer. * Feeling some topics right now. * Helping a seagull looter escape. * Just assuming that the seagull didn't pay for that bag of chips. * Sending a penguin to the market to buy fish. * The Keystone Kops of stopping this bird from having a cheese sandwich. * How nobody can get mad if you train your dog to steal from shops. * An adorable seagull stealing somebody's insulin. * Activating the motion-sensing doors to help a seagull steal the Hope Diamond. * Encountering a seagull smoking a tiny crack pipe and deciding whether to post a video on social media or send it to rehab. * How to monetize the rat trying to go up the down escalator. * When you post a viral video of a rat trying to go up the down escalator and monetize it by replying with an ad for mail order brides but don't give the rat a cut off the income. * Whether Americans know about Eurovision. * Pretending the listeners don't know what Eurovision is and really lording it over them. * Having to adjust for the altitude when you bake a souffle on your high horse. * If every state in the USA got to perform one song at the Super Bowl halftime show. * Mr. Lordy. * Soccer except it's singing. * Looking up what girding your loins means. * Stocking up on batteries in advance of when Americans find out about Eurovision. * Power-washed Cheetos. * A bag of bad corn snacks impaled on both a pike and a spike. * Cat Is How Much. * The specific ways in which Wikidiff is broken. * Retiring replidroids. * Knife Hopper with Boy Ratty and Dick Reckard. * An extremely composed and photogenic dumpster. * Getting ready for some very uncomfortable mugging. * Identifying wizards by their extremely shiny outfits. * Why is this man so big? * Smoke tentacles that are just trying to turn the TV on. * How badly the red wizard needs food. * Sugar Ray Charles playing guitar with one hand and holding champagne in the other. * A dojo with sauna vibes. * Dripping your dumpster water onto the hookah rip enjoyer. * Dave-- that's what his fans call him: Dave. * Dave Matthews's flying kick fizzling out because his bribe to the VFX artist wasn't big enough. * Scaring the fish with your pec shimmy. * Doing community service with the purple wizard who is now the orange wizard. * Your two most attitudey friends getting married and having a kid. * Deciding that Sonic the Hedgehog's "I'm waiting" idle animation from Sonic 1 is so central to the character that you decide you need to invent reasons for Sonic to be bored in every episode of the Sonic cartoon. * Looking at your old yearbook photos and realizing that your smirk is the same as Sonic the Hedgehog's. * Kids getting sucked into Sonic the Hedgehog's engorged monopupil younger and younger every year. * The helicopter but it gets you lift. * Mario's idle animation in Super Mario 64 where he just starts naming Italian foods. * Whether someone at Nintendo of America heard Charles Martinet's Mario audition tape and thought "Martinet's an Italian name, right? That means it can't be racist!" * The alternate reality where Charles Martinet does a cartoonish French accent to voice Nintendo's platformer mascot. * Getting offended on behalf of the French. * Whether we should give Shamus O'Leary a hard time for having a racist name. * Shamus O'Leary finding the video on Instagram where you did a cartoon Irish accent in his store's bathroom and being like "is that our choking poster??" * Hearing that Andy Dufresne makes a hole in a cell wall and assuming Shawshank Redemption is a sequel to Fantastic Voyage. * Writing a short story about a friendly rat who explains how Marty McFly's parents didn't recognize him. * Making it a life goal to transform every goof on IMDB into an "error made by character" by writing fan sequels on AO3. * Explaining how Marty McFly's parents didn't recognize him by pointing out that it was actually a movie the whole time. * The stage play of Super Mario Bros 2 where the audience just watches Mario snore for two hours while listening to jaunty ragtime. * A joke striking you loudly enough that it's still ringing in your head twenty years later. * Paris Syndrome. * Jerusalem Syndrome. * Planting a palm tree under the Eiffel Tower. * Adventure 500. * A game jam where you recreate a game you haven't played in years from memory. * Lou's voice just being a bad Sylvester Stallone accent. * Jenni probably appreciating your email unless it's a bad email.