Miscellaneous
The energy of the past can come pounding to the surface of my mind, heart, and body whenever I retell my bipolar story. It recently came roaring to the fore in a most unexpected fashion just yesterday. I met a counselor, in passing, who I'd been hoping to bump into at some point. I wanted her inner circle opinion on how to make a real world move with the material in my head, beyond what I do on this site. Because the dream build is taking more cash than I have to complete it. So I need a certain amount of actual employment, a tricky situation for me for more than one reason. And I've wanted a unique position, something that differentiated me from the work of a peer specialist, the only title I could come up with that's even close to what it is that I do. And I was struggling to find the type and location of facilities that would allow me to work just as I was, without pigeon-holing me into their definition of the job. To get this entire point across, I had to share some of my old story. And I got a bit hyped up as I did. The energy of the past was hitting this poor lady right in the face! In my defense: I'd begun my day with some tedious, complicated and highly important technical work on my website. In the process, I'd forgotten all about my NSA chiropractic appointment. When the receptionist called to see where I was, it put me into a higher level of stress than what I already was experiencing. On top of that, I'd over-caffeinated, thinking I had two more hours to bleed it all out on the work that needed to be completed, before entering the calm realm of my NSA entrainment. Now all my tasks got compressed, and the energy began to build I get to the shop late, so a window was available to work on some of the technical issues within the office. (I am not only my doctor's web guy but also his I.T. guy.) This led me down a never ending, ever constant rabbit hole of troubles that the office setup seems to magically create ad nauseam. It presents me with a type of frustration that almost has a taste to it. I sometimes want to choke on the seeming futility of it all. But I digress. So now I'm good and wound. But actually in a great frame of mind. Off the back of that, I head upstairs to the Little Marine's Room to empty my bladder (because you needed to see that in print) and I see that the nice counselor is finally in her office at the same time I'm around. So we meet. And as best as I can tell, based on her facial expression and body language, I low level fried the ends of her nerves with my overexuberance. I felt a little stupid I know I have this potential for mania-like behavior still. I am aware of it and I can stop it. But it always gets loose a bit longer than I'd have liked before I catch hold of it. Yet, social awkwardness aside, what was most remarkable to me was the awareness of how visceral my feelings became as I spoke about my bipolar-afflicted past. I'm taken right back to the sensations and the negative emotions, like they never left. Nothing comes of this, which is a key takeaway for those of you still in the Head Wars. But they just sort of astound me with the power they still hold when I bring them into the light. And I believe the nice counselor knew, to some degree, what was happening and cut me some slack. Or maybe the whole damn thing was only my perception of it and she was just fine. That's a thing too, with me. ;-) Subscribe To AB Podcast! Sponsors: Family Network Chiropractic in Kingston, NY: The only providers of NSA Chiropractic in the Mid-Hudson Valley Maximum Results Fitness w/ Mike Romano: Online Training with Individually Customized Support Key Points: I still have some manic tendencies that sometimes spring forth. But they're rare, short-lived, and damage free (beyond a minor amount of embarrassment on my part). As opposed to the many dozens of symptoms I once experienced,...