Society & Culture
Is there anything worse than hitting your max capacity? YES! When your partner is at theirs, too. Two people at their max capacity are almost certainly going to have an argument that’s fueled by stress and anxiety. So what do you do? When you’re at your maximum emotional capacity, you’re feeling stretched too thin, stressed out, anxious about everything, and let’s be honest, probably pretty irritable. If your partner is feeling the same way, without addressing it, you’re nearly guaranteed to butt heads. That’s why you need to recognize when you’re nearing (or have already reached) your max capacity and actually admit it to yourself and your partner. Acknowledging the fact that you’re at your max might be scary, but your partner will appreciate the openness. Next, you need to figure out what’s happened to get you to this point and once you do, explain this to your partner as well. Then, how can you work your way back from the max? Maybe take some time to sit down and write it out. Definitely set some goals that will help you work it out within yourself. If you have had an argument with your partner while you’re both at your max, recognizing their perspective will help you resolve it. When you can see things from their angle and try to understand why they’ve reacted the way they have, you can work through your difference in a much healthier way. For us, we tend to argue more when we haven’t prioritized some couple alone time. It might sound like a luxury for you to schedule this time alone and child-free, but for us, this is a necessity and something we miss when we don’t get it. We both find that when we spend alone time together, we’re much more communicative and stresses, anxieties, and issues don’t build-up to an argument. Lastly, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for what happens during an argument and what it’s taken to get there. We all go through periods where we’re at maximum capacity and honestly, it’s okay. Learning to accept that it’s going to happen to you will help you work through it. How do you deal with reaching your maximum capacity? Can you communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling? What do you need to do to work your way back from the brink? In This Episode: What happens when you reach your maximum emotional capacity Why you need to recognize and admit to your partner when you’re at max capacity Why you need to figure out why you’re at max capacity so you can talk to your partner about it How you can set goals to help work through your max capacity How realizing your partner’s perspective can help you work out the argument What happens to your relationship when you prioritize couple time Why you need to forgive yourself for any arguments you have with your partner Quotes: “Giving yourself that time to really dig deep and figure out what the heck is going on for you that you’ve hit your max capacity is super important when you’re really trying to work on your relationship.” (13:27) “It’s not that suddenly you figure out how to handle your anxiety and it disappears. It’s a matter of you’re just better at fighting it.” (20:42) “Sometimes you don’t have to say anything, it’s really in our actions and in our body language and how we say things that can really make the other person understand that you want to support them.” (21:45) “If you both are going at a pace that potentially is spinning you out of control, where can you get help?” (26:35) Links: Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course Check out the full post for this episode Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram Mind Body Marriage Novitsky MD Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching. Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching! Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com